Part 1

This week, we explore the first five types of Emotional Manipulators and their various habits and characteristics.

1. The Constant Victim

“Nobody cares about me. I might as well be dead.”

This archetype tends to instigate arguments but carefully twists every scenario so that somehow they can be perceived as the victim. They are emotionally draining and lure people into emotional battles after which they seek sympathy from others, depicting themselves as wounded and victimised. They are driven primarily by fear and anger and due to feelings of entitlement seldom take accountability for their actions.

2. The One-Upper

“Anything you can do, I can do better.”

One-Uppers need to feel superior to others so typically surround themselves with weak and vulnerable counterparts in order to elevate themselves. Shame and anger drive these manipulators and putting others down allows them to feel dominant and (temporarily) drives out their deep-rooted feelings of shame and self-doubt.

3. The Powerful Dependents

“Life has been so unfair to me. I need help; please do what I want.”

These manipulators use ego-stroking and compliments to control others. They appear weak and helpless in order to manipulate others into doing what they want. They are self-centred and their only concern is having their needs met. If you do not do their bidding, they can quickly flip from sweet to spiteful, and will use guilt as an alternative tactic if you do not cooperate.

4. The Triangulator

“I hate to be the one to tell you, but she said…”

This archetype will spread animosity and cause disunion by dividing and conquering. They often use the ‘he said, she said’ tactic and try and create a sense of ‘us versus the world’ to garner support or sympathy from the person they are trying to control. They will lie, distort and create alliances to get their way. You will often find Triangulators in leadership roles.

5. The Blasters

“How dare you even ask me that!?”

Blasters typically use anger or angry outbursts to control their victims and to avoid having to answer for their actions. They deflect when confronted with their wrongdoing and find ways to cast the blame elsewhere. This type will often scream or make threats when asked to explain themselves, and live in a constant state of denial.